Luke Wrestles with Lama’s WANG

June 5th, 2004

Even though being all knowing, the Lama could not achieve the "stoneface"

Even though being all knowing, the Lama could not achieve the “stoneface”

Luke’s NHL95 Dojo- “Blame not yourself. Blame the controller. For the controller is the true cause of all suffering.” That is the motto or credo if you will of Luke’s NHL95 Dojo.

Luke started the dojo on his trek to Luck Wisconsin, were Segathon’s own Wroge (0-7) has a summer residence. There he bumped into the Dali Lama who was there with Richard Gere playing darts. When Luke bought a round of Raspberry Kamikazes and had one extra, he gave it to the Lama. The Lama was very gracious for the fruity shot but Richard Gere threw a hissy fit and left.

Lama joined the rest of the NHL 95 crew and by the end of the night Grant was teaching him the “stoneface” and the Lama joined in on the Karaoke, singing Bon Jovi’s Dead or Alive. The best thing that came out of it was the Luke and the Lama were going to start a WANG chapter, creating a Dojo for Buddhist Monks centering around NHL95.

Everything was going well at the Dojo, attendance was up and resets were down. But things went sour when Luke put up the Dojo’s credo on the wall. The Lama did not agree with the saying and the two decided to play one game, winner takes the dojo. The rules were random teams and standard Segathon Rules. To prove his point, the Lama, let Luke have the good controller. Stating “The controller is only the knife, and the knife does not make the sandwich” Confused by the statement Luke was still gleaming with excitement getting All-Stars West as his team while the Lama got the Whalers.

The match was over quickly as the Lama scored 8 goals in the first 3 minutes. Luke collapsed in a cold sweat and peed a little bit. The Lama calmly stated after the win “make me a sandwich, bitch” and then teleported to Hooters to join his Life partner Richard Gere.

Luke collapses in agony as the Lama gets the 8-0 nuke rule against Luke in the 1st period, to the right the monks are pleased

Luke collapses in agony as the Lama gets the 8-0 nuke rule against Luke in the 1st period, to the right the monks are pleased